I drank one beer
but I'm still feeling lonely
I drank one beer
but I'm still feeling homely

What am I even doing here?
Should I have another beer? (Have another!)

I drank two beers
so now I'm invincible
I drank two beers
throwing darts
shooting pool
I drank two beers (He drank two beers)
I drank two beers! I drank two beers!

I drank two beers
so I'm still invincible
I drank two beers
so I think I'm gonna ask out that girl
Would you go out with me?
No? Oh...
Well should I have beer three?

I've had twenty-four ounces of power (He drank)
That's twenty-four ounces in an hour (He drank)
I drank I drank (He drank)
two beers!

Well
there's a mythical happy land
a perfect lack of sobriety
It's somewhere between beer two and beer three
You want to find it
but you do not wanna go over
Mmmm.. that golden beverage
with the bubbles.

I've had twenty-four ounces of power (He drank)
That's twenty-four ounces in an hour (He drank)
I drank I drank (He drank)
two beers!

And he's a happy drunk
"I love you guysh"
And he's a silly drunk
"Packing peanuts are food"
And he's a queasy drunk
"I just threw up on my shoes"
And he's an angry drunk
"I want to punch that dude"

I've had twenty-four ounces of power (He drank)
I've had thirty-six ounces of power! (He drank)
I've had forty-eight ounces! (He drank)

Bartender, two beers please